Just in from the desk of Publishers, Editors, Drafters, and Orators, Inc., Jessica Serenity Simpson is proud to announce that they are publishing the story of their life in hard cover, pop-up, full-colour, large print format.
This autobiography features tales about the strength of Jonathan, the mysticism of Jessica, and the boldness that the two of them combined to become. With that as inspiration, there was only one title Jessica could use.
“I came up with title the completely myself”, she says, adding, “ ‘The Lion, The Witch, and the Audacity of This Bitch’ really tells readers what they can expect when they crack open this book.“
Jessica told MeowMix that she really wants her audience to understand who she is, saying, “It’s important that my fans see me for who I am, the way I see myself in the mirror – simplistic, natural, and the beholder of a coin slot pussy.”
“I want my young fan readers to reach out and feel like they can touch me through this book. I want them to feel the strength of Jonathan when they turn to the pop-up-penis page and know that they hold this strength in their hands. I’ve always wanted this”.
Later chapters of Simpson’s book tell tales about how she sees herself as a warrior and a spirit guide for young LGBT readers. “Some people see me as a beacon of strength and wisdom. I want them to look up to me and know that I can touch them. That makes me smile.“
Simpson added, “I wanted this book to be accessible to everyone. I want blind people to be able to feel me through this book. They can feel my transition. I want young people to look at my illustrations and understand my struggles. I even embedded a mirror on page 38 so they can really see themselves the way I see them.”
P.E.D.O. Inc. has negotiated with Chapters and Barnes & Noble stores to ensure the book is placed at eye level in the children’s section at over 400 stores. Expect ‘The Lion, The Witch, and the Audacity of This Bitch’ in stores in late 2021.
11 thoughts on “SHOCKING! Jessica Simpson Announces Major Book Deal!”
I was having the worst fucking morning until I read this. Like seriously everyone at work is all happy and cracking lame April Fool’s jokes and I am in my office glowering like Jessie when she is rebuffed or exiting a court house. Thank-you so much for the laugh. I needed it!
FFS I totally forgot it was April fools day and I was getting so riled up reading this lol
LOVE IT!!!!! Well done!
Been waiting for this all day. It was worth the wait. I lol’d hard.
Yaniv is skinny
The Epstein Trust funded that bitchs’ book lol..
You bastards got me.
There’s a foreward by Rolf Harris and Jimmy Saville.
Inspiration for Book from Dr. Rachel Levine and Gary Glitter